How many times do I have to post something about this heartache of mine??? I really don't get it. I am so sick and tired but what can I do??? What choice do I have if this is what I feel?? If this is the only way I can think of to spill out everything.. Damn that person who broke my heart.. He doesn't even know how much damage he had caused me!?? Didn't even know how much sacrifices I gave just to save something and make him happy... Sayang lahat.. Hindi naman nakakapanghinayang yun sa totoo lang pero ang pagmamahal ko sa kanya, ewan ko lang . I thought that I'll be happy with him that he will never hurt me like cheaters do... Mali pala ako.. Though he told me na wala siya iba at nasa kanya ang problema pro who knows diba.. I don't wanna be paranoid pero that's a big probability and I don't want to runaway from reality.... Sakit sobra... Sana pwede ko hlingin sa taas na magkabalikan kami and that time sana maayos na


All I can say is that having a heartache is not always as loud as a bomb.. It is as loud as a feather falling.. The sad part there is no one really can hear it except you..........

 

 

GOD please let me be okay...

Posted by whitecrow on September 18, 2010 at 01:08 PM as a stickied post | 2 comments

 

Somethings bothering me.... I can't sleep because of bein' bothered of something I am not sure of... I really feel that something's wrong.. I just don't know what.. But I know na may mangyayari na hindi maganda.... ganito na kasi ako dati pa.. This is a complete torture!!! huhuhu... Hindi ko alam kung ano, kanino,pano, saan chaka kailan... kung meron man mangyayari, wala ako magagawa khit gusto ko tumulong... maraming beses n 'to nangyari kaya hindi ako pwede magkamali....



Weird noh.... I consider myself as a freak because of that.. but some people say na it is a gift.. but then.. if it is so.. bakit wala ako nagagawa for that? bakit hanggang pakiramdam nalang ako?? kaya for me this is one big curse na hindi ko alam kung sinong Poncio Pilato nagbigay sakin nito.. I am so sick and tired of this... Can't get a grip anymore.. Don't know what to do or even where to go at times like this... I've been carrying this whole thing up for about a month.. Hindi ko nalang sinasabi kasi alam ko naman na wala din kwenta kasi wala akong magawa.. I just brought this up and share this kasi hindi ko n talaga kaya...



Guys help me out here.. please!! sasabog n utak ko!!!



 

Posted by whitecrow on March 7, 2008 at 06:19 AM as a stickied, favorite post | 6 comments

So I am a normal human being that makes mistakes..... Dozens and dozens of it..... I made my life a complete mess a number of trimes..... Especially in terms of love.... I always take the wrong turn unintentionally... well not really the wrong-wrong but more on right in the eyes of everyone but will regret it soon enough... Am I malas sa lovelife or I am just stupid.. haha..

I have a suitor BEFORE...... Shit my dating sya... I cannot say n gwapo tlga xa or panget... He can be considered as a celebrity sa world of cheering because his name blooms.. When I was about to answer him after a month, it finally came to my senses to ask his facebook account para maadd ko... Then there it all started.... I was dismayed... I saw his age... Fuck he is 2 or 3 yrs older than my dad and I am 24... Why didn't i thought of that a long time ago...Why is that it never came to my senses to ask his age!!!!  Long before I make an answer.. I fell in love with an almost senior citizen? potah... hindi kasi halata sa kaniya na matanda n sya..... all i thought was he is @ around 30's and it is not bad 4 my age... 


Well, there... I still gave my answer... My yes turned to no.. He asked why... Sabi ko sa kaniya:

"You are known to the world we are moving and living in.. I don't want them to lose their respect to you.. You earned it.. Pinagpaguran mu yan then because of me you'll lose everything..Hindi kya ng kuncenxa ko un..iicpn ng tao n sugar daddy ka.. you are the dirt old man and I am your bitches and takes money from you... Hindi ako gnun.. Though I don't care what others will say pero this is an exception.."

yes, he didn't agreed but he finally gave in..

 

after yrs have passed, I am still thinking of that incident xe i really do fell in love.. (Sad but true).. We had our time talking again.. saying our "musta's" and some news about each other.. Napagusapan ulit ung nangyari.. I don't know what came into me to admit that I fell in love indeed... Shit!!! He was proud of it... He was happy about it but no commitments.. Ok kwentuhan namin.. Until such time n sinabi niya n "hindi n 2 tulad ng dti... nun daw gusto nya but ngaun hindi n".. Asshole.. All i wanted was to regain the friendship dahil hanggang dun lang tlga.. then i checked some sites earlier.... I remembered my trainor saying something about a video.. why don't i watch that video xe maganda daw ung routine.. so i did... i watched... but when i glanced at the comments... negative comments nkita ko.... the ex-suitor was accused of being a pervert.... super ambisyoso... mluho.... haaayz

 

 

tma lang b desisyon ko?

Posted by whitecrow on October 3, 2011 at 12:19 AM | 5 comments

What's wrong with me??? amp.. I always get hurt everytime na magkaka bf... anu un magmamadre nlng ako?? harr... that won't work... hehehehe..

My last posts were all about heartaches with an ex... Yes, i have moved on and eventually found someon pero TANGINA NIYA!! we broke up after 2wks.. My gf pla ang gago.. Bakit ba mrming tao ang hindi makuntento sa isa? haay naku!!! kainis.. mahal ko siya pero pakxhet... I am not the type of person n pababayan lng n msktan ung iba ng dhil s gs2 ko mkuha... isa pa mas nauna mging cla.. i pity the girl... pero in fairness my natisod din akong mukhang tao pero amp nmn xe 2timer... ganun din... panget din xa dhl s attitude nia... the nerve of those  men... haay..

Posted by whitecrow on December 17, 2010 at 04:36 AM | 4 comments

Remember my last posts about my depression sa ex ko? Well I am totally confused. I am quite okay now but things come to my mind and all of those things really did happen..

The day we had the break up, I kept on asking him why, what and where did I went wrong. That is through messaging on facebook. We had a good conversation naman everytime we talk about that.. Well for me kasi asking is better than keeping every single thing to myself. I don't want to be paranoid. As time goes by, we were having a conversation about our ruined relationship then he suddenly  deleted me on his list tapos hindi pa nakuntento, nilagay niya ako sa block list. I asked my sister if I could use her account to send him a message saying my thanks for deleting me.. Rude kasi e. He could have just told me that he doesn't want me messaging him up or talking about those things. Hindi naman ako nangungulit. I am just replying to all of his answers. So there it goes, I sent the message then he answered "Nakakainis na kasi". Hindi nalang kasi niya ako sinabihan na he doesn't want those kinds of topic. Hindi na ako sumagot. Then I opened my facebook account again, tinanggal niya pagklakablock ko s list niya pero deleted parin ako.. So okay lang. I was just surprised sa ginawa niya. Parang masyadong immature kasi e. Anyway, one time naisipan ko na mag browse ng profile. I saw his profile and I saw someone posted on his wall and addressing him as "bebe". I was stunned. I immediately asked him who that person was. He said tropa daw niya yun and it was a HE!!! Stupid me, I didn't opened "his"page before asking. Pero oo nga she was a HE. Hindi lang halata kasi he really looked as if he was a real girl. So ayun. After so many weeks, our kabarkda asked him who was that person. My ex answered them the same then he brought up the idea that I was jealous with that person.. Big deal ba?? FYI, I was about to get jealous but he told me na bakla yun. And the time that our friends asked him that question, wala na sakin yun. Ni hindi ko na nga inaalala e. Okay lang siya?? Parang ang feeling naman niya...

The second thing I hated about him is that he makes fun or jokes about our break up. Kasi kapag nagkakaasaran or nagkakakulitan kami, he always add the line "parang hindi mo naman ako minahal non" or "sus, mahal mo naman ako e". Then a friend asked me, what if one of my ex come and take me back, will I accept daw ba? Sabi ako that depends on the reason why we broke up. Sumabat siya. Sabi niya "ako ba pag bumalik sayo may pag-asa ba?". I didn't answer kasi I know he was just making fun. Parang joke time lang. Loko-loko kasi yun. Pero deep down inside me, ouch ang pakiramdam ha.. I am still at the process of moving on nung mga oras na yun.

 

Now guys, what do you think???

Posted by whitecrow on October 7, 2010 at 12:25 PM | 31 comments

Ngayon ko lang naalala iblog to..

I was surprised on the first day I saw the latest commercial of Colgate (the one with a show-and-tell.. A boy brought his Dentist dad at school to say something about his work).

There was this part when the pre-school teacher asked her students "So how do we protect our teeth?".

The children answered "Colgate".

 

Wala lang.. That doesn't make sense if you come to think of it.. Though it is clearly understood pero may mali...

Yes they were kids even in real life. They might answer that way but for heaven's sake it is a commercial! Someone writes the script, someone shoots the clip, someone prepares for the props and everything.. As you see maraming tao ang nagaasikaso sa "the-making-of-Colgate-Commercial" which is an adult.. I am just pointing out, whoever is in charge of the script must give the proper way to answer and what to answer. Especially if their talents are mostly kids.. They might just answer that way.

 

hehehe..

 

Why am I making this a big deal?? The answer is I don't know...!!! Dami kong napapansin....

 

 

Posted by whitecrow on October 4, 2010 at 12:30 PM | 1 comments

Why does it seems like it is easier for a person to move on kung galit siya sa taong gusto niyang layuan (in the sense of moving on)? Bitter ba tawag dun???? ampf... As much as I don't wanna get mad sa ex ko, hatred still comes around.. Paano ba gagawin ko...Naguguluhan ako sa sitwasyon ko.. It is as if I want to take revenge.. And the best revenge for me is through make over... Gusto ko makita nia at pipilitin ko makita niya what he had lost inside and out..

 

Tama ba decisyon ko????? Tama lang ba gagawin ko???

Posted by whitecrow on September 23, 2010 at 12:01 AM | 2 comments
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